(1) Newly wed girl told mom her husband is still a virgin. Mom asked "How do you know dear?" Girl replied "Last night, when we made love, his cock was still in plastic cover."
(2) Immigrant Worker: "Sir, me no come to work, me sick." Boss: " When I am sick, I have sex with my wife - try it." 2 hours later Immigrant Worker: "Boss! It worked! Me ok now. You got nice house."
(3) After sex, a newly wed wife kept fondling! her husband's cock. Husband asked: "Why? Want to have sex again?" Wife replied: "No dear, I just admiring your cock. I used to have one before."
(4) Woman's lives are hard. Morning, wash clothes. Noon, hang clothes. Evening, keep clothes. Nite, iron clothes. Midnight, take off clothes. After midnight, find clothes.
(5) Priest lost his chicken and asked during mass: "Anyone got a cock?" All men rose. "I meant anyone seen a cock?" All women rose. "I mean anyone seen my cock?" All nuns rose.
(6) A Sad story A woman's husband died and she had him cremated. She then blew his ashes into the ocean and said, " Sweetheart, this is my last blowjob for you."
(7) Girl: "Mom what is a penis?" Mom: "When you become a good girl, you will get one." Girl: "But mom, what if I am not a good girl?" Mom: "Then you will get many, dear!"
(8) A lawyer who was confused in his mathematics asked his secretary: "If I give you USD3 million less 17.5%, how much would you take off? "Secretary: "Everything sir! Dress, Bra, panties, Everything."
(9) Schoolgirl: "I do not want to take the sex Education class. Teacher: "Why?" Schoolgirl: "Someone told me that the final exam will be Oral."
(10) Two sperms talking on mobile phone. 1st: "I'm somewhere between the fallopian tube and uterus. Are you close-by?" 2nd: "No boy, I am taking a different route. I am just crossing the tonsils."
(11) Scientists have discovered that the lightest thing in the world is a penis. This is because it can be lifted up even by just a simple thought.
When I needed help, you were there. When I was lost and did not know what to do, you were there. When I need a direction, you were there.
Today, I wanna give praise to my Lord for answering my prayers almost insteneously. This morning received the good news that my Dad could be discharged from hospital.
A random but deliberate post (an irony against a person who is full of ironies)
Recovered from my sore throat - wasn't H1N1 - and given 7 days MC for consuming Tamiflu + 30 days excuse Reservist / ICT.
Then, I chance upon a few posts from a blog that I really detest a lot:
1) This person shamelessly post pictures of hamsters belonging to Melody and me as hers. No credits were given to us and she blatantly wrote 'My Hamsters'. With that post, she had committed fraud as she falsely claim ownership of property not belonging to her. Maybe my things are really that good that she had to do so. ~proud~
2) This same person claim that I was a H1N1 suspect and that I was spreading the virus to people around me. For someone who is forever stuck in the 4 walls in her room and not work for more than 3 months in any job, this is to enlighten your useless brain: A person is not suspected of H1N1 unless he/she is required to go for the swat test for H1N1. ~Ignorant a$sho£es~
3) This person told the whole world about how she got selected for a cabin crew position. Seriously, I would write in to the company to inform them of the potential that they are staring at - decline of passengers figures, increase in complaints. ~Air Whore~
4) This is the one that broke the camel's back. Claiming to love her sister a lot (more than I do), this person starts to rant about how my attitude have to change - no indication that her attitude mirrors that of a moron. It is always people who are at fault, and not her. Wonders if she thinks that the world revolves for her.
5) This is the person who actually cancel and delete my post on her FB account because of comments that I made. If you are so broke to marry, then DON'T. What did this person complain?
a) Her parents request for 10 tables and that all ang pows for the table would go to the mom - who she claimed to be a money magnet and love money more than anything else. This person did not - in any reasonable way - actually let people know that her parents did not get a single dowry cents from her husband. Moreover, her husband had been 'free-loading' (apparently not his decision) on her family and only recently decided against it. Utilities bills and monthly allowance were not given to her parents by this unfiliall person.
b) This person also keep calculating on the 'loss' that she would make on the wedding dinner. I was just thinking - during engagment, already collected ang pow from people. Now traditional wedding, also want to collect another ang pow from people. Are they marrying to make money? That is the question.
c) Acting like she knows many things, she actually told the whole world about her wedding plans and stuff, all this while disregarding the fact that she is making a complete fool of herself with her comments and review of places - even putting herself liable for sueing of defamation by placing names prominantly.
Yes, I like to sue people, but I only sue people who are able to PAY the compensation figure amount. I think that it is a personal insult to sue someone who cannot pay you.
27 years old and still cannot wake up the idea - I guess it is YOU who need to change your attitude. Explain why then did your parents feel ashamed and not defended you in anything? And why is your sister longing your departure from the room so that she can claim the whole room her own.
May Peace descend on Punggol residents and their MPs (maybe MPs are safe since that person don't have the calibre to go so high up vis-a-vis myself).
